July 30

Avoiding A Destructive Divorce Through Transformative Mediation

Family law mediators may benefit divorcing parties who are mediating by applying the principles of transformative mediation in the mediation process. Problem Solving Mediation vs. Transformative Mediation: There are significant differences between problem solving mediation and transformative mediation. Transformative Mediation focuses on creating opportunities for moral growth. It involves a long-term process. Problem solving seeks a settlement of a specific dispute usually involving money or property (negotiable interests). Mediators are usually more directive in problem solving mediation situations. Discussion of the past is encouraged with transformative mediation and discouraged with problem solving mediation. Emotions are an integral part of the...

May 27

Intergenerational Isolation

The Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard wrote: “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” Three of us, each from a different generation, recently tried to understand life a little better by looking backwards to determine why there seems to be so much isolation between generations. We met to plan ways to commemorate Intergenerational Week. Our meeting at a small table in the Palo Alto Café must have seemed unusual to outside observers. A woman whose life has spanned much of the last century, a middle-aged man and a teenage girl sharing a meal used to be...

February 11

Political Coverage in The Media

In my last column I expressed my opposition to litmus tests for candidates seeking appointment to the Palo Alto Human Relations Commission. But some litmus tests are worthwhile, such as those silly little chemical paper tabs that turn blue or pink — much like states on a simplistic “Who’s ahead?” TV campaign map. A presidential election year is exciting. It is like the Olympics, a horse race, a lottery and a baseball or football championship rolled into one big sporting event extraordinaire. That is the problem: The media treats politics as a sporting event. We receive “horse race” reports on...

January 3

Responding To Acts of Intolerance

As a member of the Palo Alto Human Relations Commission I developed some protocols for the commission and the community relating to how best to respond to verbal or other acts of intolerance. I now find myself applying them not just locally but to state and even national incidents — where they apply equally well. And I find them underscored by the recent visit of the Dalai Lama to Stanford, where thousands — including me and my daughter — turned out to honor him and hear his messages of gentleness, kindness and love for humanity. Maybe I am hypersensitive to...